Peace off,
Elle April
Elle Belle
Elle Stella Banana
Elle Totally Fucking Annoyed
Sailing the sea of eating disorder insanity. Dancing on the razor edge between BED and ANA. Running scared from MIA. Undiagnosed EDNOS. Winning the PMDD war.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Dear Blogger/Google,
You suck more than I remember. If you want me, find me at Tumblr.
Peace off,
Elle April
Elle Belle
Elle Stella Banana
Elle Totally Fucking Annoyed
Peace off,
Elle April
Elle Belle
Elle Stella Banana
Elle Totally Fucking Annoyed
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
The Bracelet Project
I'm putting on my bracelet again. Not so much to inform others "in the know" but to remind me of the truth. You can't fight a battle if you don't have your eyes open to it.
Flying the "healthy" flag the last several years was such a lie and it really hurt me. Delusion.
For the few ED hobbits still snuggled in under a rock, this is the bracelet project:
Each disorder has a color that corresponds to it.
Adding 1 white bead means you’re trying to recover.
If your bracelet is half of the color that your disorder is and half white it means you’re in recovery.
You can also make the strand the main disorder you have then add beads to your lesser disorders, or if you have EDNOS, if you have more anorexic or bulimic tendencies then you can add a red or purple bead.
If you see a person in public wearing one, you are supposed to make eye contact and point to your bracelet. If s/he nods then you know s/he is part of the bracelet project.
 |
| Who me? Yeah, you! |
Flying the "healthy" flag the last several years was such a lie and it really hurt me. Delusion.
Each disorder has a color that corresponds to it.
- Schizophrenia is gold
- Bipolar/mood disorders is silver
- Anorexia is red.
- Bulimia is purple.
- EDNOS is pink.
- PMDD is brown.
- Depression is blue.
- Self harm is orange or black.
- Fasting at the time is dark green.
- Suicidal is yellow.
- Overweight/obese is turquoise.
- Anxiety/panic disorders/OCD is teal.
- Bullying is lime green/light green
Adding 1 white bead means you’re trying to recover.
If your bracelet is half of the color that your disorder is and half white it means you’re in recovery.
You can also make the strand the main disorder you have then add beads to your lesser disorders, or if you have EDNOS, if you have more anorexic or bulimic tendencies then you can add a red or purple bead.
If you see a person in public wearing one, you are supposed to make eye contact and point to your bracelet. If s/he nods then you know s/he is part of the bracelet project.
ABC Diet & Self Harm
ABC: Ana Boot Camp
Not for everyone and not really recommended.
Think of it as a long fast but with boosts.
Well today is less than 500, so I guess it's acceptable. ;)
A 50 day fast is not unheard of. I've known people who have done nearly that many on water as a spiritual cleanse. Funny that if it's for religious purposes no one panics about it. Nearly every religion has mandatory fasts for spiritual purity. I'm not very religious, but it has also been proven that regular fasting can extend lifespan in humans and animals.
That was the justification, here's the caution:
No fast or cal plan this aggressive should be done without experience.
It is extreme and you body may not handle the stress well.
Like many things, trying it for a couple days here and there lets your body acclimate to what you are doing to it. Fasting or calorie restriction should be increased slowly with long breaks between at first. You don't want to hurt yourself... unless you do want to. But life hurts everyone enough on it's own. You'll be a worse-off miserable pain in your own ass if you start hurting yourself too. No judgements, loves. Just a recommendation. :)
I also strongly recommend learning the ways you accidentally hurt yourself and stop it.
Me? I hurt myself by eating. It is NOT deliberate. It is my disorder and I fight it... when I can. Occasionally when I've regretted something beyond reason, I've done it deliberately... but I was not of sound mind and I've only done it a couple times in my life. To the point, FASTING is not harming myself. People become critical of proana and eating disorders. If I was "pro" my eating disorder, I'd be dead soon. I'm FAR from ana being a threat. My disorder is different, and it is also kills more people per year in the US than any other danger. Yup. OBESITY KILLS. Never forget that.
Obesity kills and anorexia kills. Obesity kills more by a long shot.
The goal is to be somewhere between.
Not freezing, not boiling,
not 10% body fat or less,
not 30% body fat or over.
Between = perfect.
I'm in the dangerous fats. I could use a bit of dangerous skinny.
Love you loves!
Not for everyone and not really recommended.
Think of it as a long fast but with boosts.
Well today is less than 500, so I guess it's acceptable. ;)
A 50 day fast is not unheard of. I've known people who have done nearly that many on water as a spiritual cleanse. Funny that if it's for religious purposes no one panics about it. Nearly every religion has mandatory fasts for spiritual purity. I'm not very religious, but it has also been proven that regular fasting can extend lifespan in humans and animals.
That was the justification, here's the caution:
No fast or cal plan this aggressive should be done without experience.
It is extreme and you body may not handle the stress well.
Like many things, trying it for a couple days here and there lets your body acclimate to what you are doing to it. Fasting or calorie restriction should be increased slowly with long breaks between at first. You don't want to hurt yourself... unless you do want to. But life hurts everyone enough on it's own. You'll be a worse-off miserable pain in your own ass if you start hurting yourself too. No judgements, loves. Just a recommendation. :)
I also strongly recommend learning the ways you accidentally hurt yourself and stop it.
Me? I hurt myself by eating. It is NOT deliberate. It is my disorder and I fight it... when I can. Occasionally when I've regretted something beyond reason, I've done it deliberately... but I was not of sound mind and I've only done it a couple times in my life. To the point, FASTING is not harming myself. People become critical of proana and eating disorders. If I was "pro" my eating disorder, I'd be dead soon. I'm FAR from ana being a threat. My disorder is different, and it is also kills more people per year in the US than any other danger. Yup. OBESITY KILLS. Never forget that.
Obesity kills and anorexia kills. Obesity kills more by a long shot.
The goal is to be somewhere between.
Not freezing, not boiling,
not 10% body fat or less,
not 30% body fat or over.
Between = perfect.
I'm in the dangerous fats. I could use a bit of dangerous skinny.
Love you loves!
Fuck Your Day!
How cute, I set a goal for myself yesterday.
Well, fuck you Goal!
You're out!
I'm fasting today instead.
Now, I do admire my own enthusiasm for plans and planning. I'm going off the inspiration of my old blog and all. But despite the feeling that everything is the same, it isn't. I'm not. I'm far worse.
So I said I wouldn't water fast. I lied. I'm water fasting today.
And a lovely, lean-thinking new friend of mine on Twitter (me: @aprilatsea) started on the ABC diet today and was asking for buddies. Yay! I love a good diet with a buddy. Despite now thinking I'm in no state to be making plans of any kind. I did agree to go ABC. Hopefully it doesn't matter that I'm jumping the first day with a water fast. Oh well...
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